Where can I start? I have all of these wonderful and 'profound to me' thoughts and then when I come to write them on 'paper' they seem to fall flat! I've never been very eloquent but writing out my thoughts does help me if nothing else.
I've been wanting to come back to blogging but my fear has stopped me. The fear comes in so many packages. Some are small and some are big but they are still fear no matter their size or how pretty they are packaged.
My recovery from my two surgeries in April have been slow. My stomach pains have mostly dissapeared (finally- thank the Lord!) but I fear that if I move or stretch that things will become 'undone' and that I'll land myself back in the hospital. Being in a foreign hospital for two weeks was stressful and trying. Also in April I had a sever flare up with my Plantar Fasciitis which has hindered me from simple walking due to the pain every time my left foot hits the floor. I have found minor relief in splints and specialty shoes and have realized that I must work through this since nothing seems to be working for me.
And with all of these circumstances it seems that my goal to be 'Thin Within' is even more elusive than in times past. I thought I had obstacles before (ie the flesh and my self-will) and now I've got to throw these things into the mix and it's left me feeling a bit hopeless.
My lifestyle has been pretty inactive. It has only been for the past two weeks that I have finally started to walk again and try to get myself moving.
After writing my thoughts above I have realized that my biggest fear is not losing weight. It's the fear of failure. And yet my identity isn't defined by MY failure but by the Almighty God who lives in me. He can NEVER fail! There are so many scriptures that tell God's children To "Fear Not" and here is one of them I've just looked up.
Isaiah 41:13 "For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee."
Imagine that- God holds my right hand and has said He will help me!
I will choose to listen to the Voice of Truth!
I think this is definitely not a coincidence that we are both returning... Praying for you today, Lil.
ReplyDeleteIn my journal yesterday I wrote: Do not be anxious. Do not be afraid. do not be discouraged. Do not be dismayed. Your Word to us. Your commands "Have I not commented you?" Joshua..Jesus, Your healing us upon our lives. Making all things new. Cutting away 'dead branches', burning up the harvest of 'weeds' in our lives. Destroying the locust that have come against us. Blessings us. Turning the curses into blessings over our lives. Contentment. In the now. Not thinking of 'when this happens', not thinking 'when this stops'. Being content NOW! amen amen amen
ReplyDeleteAs for your question on my blog? Of course I'm still blogging. Until I'm lead not too, I will continue...It's just healthy at times to step away and allow God to just minister to us, so when we come 'back', we are able to lift up others with the same assistance that our Father God has given unto us.
Blessings dear one.
How are you doing Lil? Been thinking of you and praying for you!
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