It seems that every time I make some sort of proclamation of a new beginning that it goes over like a Led Zeppelin. So, I am not going to do that. I am simply going to start journaling my adventure. Again. (I can't even count how many times I've started!!)
I struggle when it comes to being transparent- that others could read this and find out exactly who I am, and learn that I don't have any self control in the area of food. How can I be a pastor's wife if there is such a shameful sin in my life, when the plain truth is that they can look at me, at my body size, and know that I DO have a problem. Kind of ironic, isn't it? Maybe that's what Paul meant in 1 Timothy speaking about men's sins being evident and out in the open.
It's funny. Even though I struggle with being transparent and not wanting people to know who I am, there is this desire to want a voice and to tell my story, as uninteresting and boring as it might be. Maybe it's because ministry has taught me that I should be 'this way' or 'that way' and it makes me want to tell my story even more. A part of me wants to let it all hang out and know that I am accepted no matter what, just like the Lord Jesus accepts me, and I find such great comfort in that! He has been so faithful to me and accepts me as I am- but loves me so much not to leave me in the state I am in!
I know what you mean, Lil. Whenever someone I see in person says that they have read my blog entry I feel a sense of humiliation. I think I intend for my blog to be anonymous...you know...no one that I see in person will read it and anyone who reads it I will never meet in person. LOL! But the Lord LOVES authenticity, Lil. I DO think it ministers to more people and in deeper ways than we can imagine. Thanks for sharing the link at Facebook!
ReplyDeleteSo true about the authenticity Heidi! I am so glad you stopped by and commented. You are always more than welcome anytime!!! (((hugz)))
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